


Time was always against us

by Yyydelilah



Series: Mini-fics [3]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Anti-Valentine Challenge, FIFA World Cup 2014, M/M, Misunderstandings, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 03:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9530432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yyydelilah/pseuds/Yyydelilah
Summary: “If we still want to do this then we meet and we’ll make this work.If not, then we never mention it again. It's over.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this meets the challenge rules.

_July 2014_

Mats clung a little tighter as a wave of endorphins blotted out any ache or pain or guilt. Since that final whistle, high had followed high had followed high until he could barely remember what the ground felt like beneath his feet. Now, in the wake of their celebrations, he held tightly to these last beautiful moments, these last stolen moments in Benni’s arms.

He had collapsed against his lover in the hot rush of bliss, and felt his solid reassuring presence beneath him as they lay together in silence.

Benni was the first to break the spell as he gently wound his fingers into Mats’ hair:

“We don't have long” he breathed.

“I wish I didn't have to leave so soon”

“I know. Me too”

“I want to stay like this forever”

Mats punctuated his wish with a kiss to Benni's throat.

“Mmm I know, I know, but we can't!”

Mats gave a whimper:

“Why not?”

“You _know_ why!”

Mats rolled away to lie side by side, face to face, snatching up Benni's hand in his as he did so.

“But why _couldn't_ we?” He looked with earnestness into Benni's wide eyes. “Why couldn't we do this properly? We’ve conquered the world! When we're together we can do anything! I’m not saying it would be easy…”

“But Lisa? Cathy?”

“I know, I know! But the sneaking around and the lies hurt them too! Going on like this is no good for any of us! Just imagine what it would be like, not having to hide anymore! A new life! For both of us. Just think of it!”

A soft smile played across Benni's lips and his eyes flickered shut:

“If the world could know you're mine…” he sighed.

“Yes, yes! All yours! Forever!”

“But there are so many other obstacles!” Ever the pragmatist, Benni's eyes were open again, clear and steady. “This is a huge decision and how can we know we’re doing the right thing? We’ve been floating on air! What if you don't feel this way when reality sets in?”

“But I will! I’ll always want you! Don't you feel the same?”

“Yes, yes I believe I do.” He squeezed Mats’ hand a little tighter “Right now, I’d follow you anywhere. But that's what I’m afraid of. We have to be certain and rational about this. We should wait.”

“I don't want to wait!”

“Not long, not too long. Just enough to breathe, to be sure!”

Mats was silent for a moment. His heart would always tell him to live in the moment and act on impulse, but he knew Benni spoke sense.

“How long?”

“A month. One month from today.”

“And then what?”

Benni thought for a few seconds:

“If we still want to do this then we meet and we’ll make this work. If not, then we never mention it again. It's over.” His voice wavered “We’ll be friends, teammates, and that's all. No judgement. No regrets.”

“Where and when?” Mats’ voice was sure and determined “Name it and i’ll be there!”

Benni smiled:

“Top of the Rheinturm, ten o'clock. It’ll be quiet then.”

“Perfect” Mats kissed him on the forehead “But now I really have to go”

He got up from the bed.

“I’ll be counting the hours!”

…

_August 2014_

The lights of Düsseldorf shone brightly through the fading twilight as Mats soared high above the city. As he stepped out of the tower’s elevator and into the gently revolving bar, the reflections danced on the river below and Mats’ heart danced with them.

He ordered a bottle of champagne with two flutes, took a seat by the window but in sight of the entrance, and waited impatiently.

Half an hour and an empty bottle later, he thought to check the restaurant on the floor below but found they had stopped serving a while earlier and there was no lone diners.

At midnight the dream was over. He called Cathy, and then a cab.

…

_June 2015_

The morning was bright and clear, perfect for a wedding. Everything was fixed, everything was perfect and in a few hours he would be vowing ‘forever’ to the woman he loved.

Against his better judgement, Benni could not help but think back to such a similar morning less than a year before:

He remembered his heart lifting as he had stared up at the tower, the lights of its clock counting the hours.

_“I’ll be counting the hours!”_

He had taken the first elevator to the top and had stood looking out over the city as it went about its morning’s business. The blue sky had seemed so fresh and full of promise. He had ordered two coffees, taken a seat at the window, and waited.

At midday, the dream had vanished in the heat summer sun.

Nothing had ever been said. No judgement. No regrets.

Well not many, not really.

This was reality. It was a new life for both of them.

He felt the ground beneath his feet.

…


End file.
